Things White People Say To Brown Indian Guys

These are just some of the things that white people (and others) say to brown guys (indian people). I have to confess, I actually did very well in math. Honors.




“Your indian So do you speak hindi?”
-No I speak Punjabi.
Oh, poonjabi, I know poojabi.

Do you know Russell Peters?
-Yeah, all indian people know all indian people

“Will you get to ride an elephant at your wedding?”
-Of course, how else would I get there.

“What’s going on in cricket these days?”
-I don’t know, I don’t watch cricket
What? Isn’t that crime?
-Only in India.

“Can you bring me some naan, I had that shit, it was fucking amazing?”
-We don’t make at home. We buy it from the grocery store like everyone else.

“Why would you guys get an arranged marriages?”
-Because it’s a loteasier than filling out the eharmony  questionaire.

“Don’t you ever get sick of curry?”

How can you eat that shit all the time? Looks like fuckin diarehha? Whats wrong with you?
-I don’t eat it all the time. Friday’s Pizza Day.

“Aren’t you suppose to have dot right here?”
-I didn’t come with one, you ignorant basstard.

“Is Diwali like your Christmas?”
-Yeah, Diwali is our Christmas.

“what’s that holiday where you throw the colors in peoples faces? I love that one.”
-Holi, I’d like to throw something in your face right now.

“Indians are Asians but you guys don’t the eyes, whats up with that?”
-Were South Asians, represent, bitch!

“Have you ever ridden on top of a train?”
-Only when I elephant was sick

“Your not like Arab, are you?”
-(Nod head No)

“Is it true that india smells like shit?”
-Let’s just say that as soon as you step off the plane, you immediately know where you.

“Is there nothing but call centers over there?”
-Yeah, over a billion people doing nothing but answering phones and providing tech support 24/7.

“I guess you’re a vegetarian because you guys worship the cows?”
-We just eat burgers.
Do you have to go and like pray now then?

“Why do you need sooo many gods, do you guys think that your better than us?”
-Yeah, so we can be better than you, that’s the only reason.

“Hey, can you help me with my math homework?”
-I’m getting the same marks as you. For the last time,I’m not good at math.

“Can you teach me about saris?”
-It’s a women’s dress, what do you want me to teach you. I don’t know anything

“what’s it like in a third world country?”

“Is it just like Slumdog Millionaire?”
100%, just like the movie

Teach me how to say something in indian?
-(middle finger, do you understand that or do you need me to translate)


*****STAY FROSTY*****


Author: skizzy

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